Me: Why is your finger so high up in your nose?

Wes: I put a bb in there.

Me: Wait. What? What do you mean you put a bb in there?

Wes: (Nonchalantly) I shoved a bb up my nose.

Me: Why did you do that?

Wes: (blank stare, slight shrug)

Me: Oh em gee. I need you to get it out. Right now.

Wes: I can’t get it out. I’ve been trying. It’s waaaaay up in there, mom.

Me: Get in the car.

Wes: Where are we going?

Me: To the doctor, of course.

Wes: Alright. (totally calm, as if this is totally normal)

Me: Never. Again. Dude.

Wes: You got it mom.

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